What joy for those who can live in your house, always singing your praises. Interlude
What joy for those whose strength comes from the LORD, who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.
When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs. The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings.
They will continue to grow stronger, and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.
For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.
O LORD of Heaven's Armies, what joy for those who trust in you.
Psa 84:4-7, 11, 12 NLT
My head ached. My eyes wanted to close. I'd gotten a good amount of preparation done, but I was exhausted. I looked forward to a quiet Friday evening and an early bed time. My mother walked in my room and ask, "Are you going out tonight?" "No," I replied emphatically." "Why not?" she countered. "Because it's hot, I'm tired, and I don't want to." "You could at least go out for a little while. If you want to get the books out you have to go out."
I knew deep down I wouldn't have peace if I stayed home now. I would not have gone out if my mom hadn't brought it up. Later she told me she'd felt impressed to ask me about it. I hadn't gone out Thursday night either. My books hadn't come though and I figured since I wouldn't get more till probably Monday I could take a day off and go out Sunday with the last few I had.
I changed my clothes, brushed my hair and my teeth, filled my water, and got my keys. Every night before I go out my parents pray with me. I'm very glad for this. They have been a big part of my project and supported me with encouragement...as well as the needed chiding. Do you realize I'm not perfect? All I am I owe to my merciful Savior. So I want to turn your eyes to Him. I want to be real with you. I know how I felt when reading or listening to someone tell of there "ventures of faith and victory". They have such a walk with God. They have so much faith. I'm sure they never get discouraged or doubt God. I don't want people thinking that about me. If God can do what He is doing for poor faithless doubting me, He can do it for you too! So I tell you the following story to show you that it is God not me that is accomplishing this work, and God is merciful. Yes, I hold the hope that God will complete the work He has begun in me and that I will learn to trust Him with out doubting and complaining. As the passage above says, happy are those who trust in the Lord. But I want you to know that you can experience this too no matter who you are or where you are in your walk. Please do not feel like you have to prove yourself before God will take you into His service. If anyone is not worthy to receive God attention and blessings and care it is me! And He is waiting for you. So without further ado...
I got in my car and pulled out my cell phone. I've had three friends whom I text when I go out to canvass so they can pray for me. (They are three very special people. Because since I'm not in a program I don't have people to drive with to territory and be my prayer partners. So anyway, these three girls are special to me and God. One is my former canvassing leader, one is a friend I met in the summer program last year, and one is my "AFOCE adviser and mentor" since she's a graduate of the program.) I text my former canvassing leader (really she's become my personal "leader" for my program) to see if she was available for a quick phone call. No answer. So I text my canvassing comrade. No answer. My plan was to tell them all the reasons why it was excusable to stay home. (I'm just being honest with you here!)
God? I don't want to go! Please let me stay home. I'm SO tired. You know I could fall asleep on the road in the ten minutes to town. (not entirely untrue)
.....
Ok, if you can change my attitude in two minutes I'll go. But you've got to change me 'cause I don't wanna be here right now.
.....
Why shouldn't I go? I guess I could do just a couple hours. It wouldn't hurt. I could probably commit to one street.
I pulled out of the drive way praying for strength as the dust of my dirt road billowed behind me.
God, sure I believe you can do anything, I said throwing up my hands in resignation. You could sell all my books this evening if you wanted to. *pause* ...But it's more likely I guess that You would change me.
As I pulled onto the pavement of Spur 66, the road leading to Palmyra where I planned to work, I remembered that I'd thought about doing the handful of country houses along that road sometime. I might as well do them tonight.
The first house was the former home of a dear couple from our church, the Fullers. Loraine Fuller was a colporteur for many years when she was young. She did it when you worked all day, and in the evening found a family who would let you board with them for the night. I've always enjoyed listening to her stories. They've moved to Tennessee near their children a few years ago. So now I was on the porch of their old house. I was hoping to be able to write Mrs. Fuller and tell her that one of the books had found a place in her old home. But sadly no one was home. Perhaps I can try again another day.
As I pulled in to the next drive way just up the road I saw the master of the house out watering in the garden. He paused to listen to my canvass, but replied that they were in a tight on funds and he was on disability and couldn't even give a few dollars for the Happy D. But he did let me pray with him. As I pulled out of their drive way it suddenly occurred to me that by doing these houses on Spur 66 I could cool down a bit in the car between houses. Thank you, God. I'm sorry. Thanks for thinking of my comfort. I know you didn't have to do that.
At the next house the adventure with dogs began. He was a medium size Boarder Collie. His tail was wagging the sign "I'm friendly" so I stepped out of the car calling him and offering my hand. At first he seemed to be uncomfortable with me heading to the door, but I soon realized he was simply more interested in getting petted. I encountered many houses with no one home and this was the case here, so I told Shep goodbye and headed out.
Just as I was knocking at the next front door I noticed the faded sign that said Please use the back door. So I picked up my bag and made my way around the house. As I rounded the corner I saw the pooch laying in the shade of the garage. Though he was looking straight at me, he didn't rouse until I said 'hi'. Then his ears went up and he came running to the porch. But again his tail was wagging the friendly sign so I just kept my bag in front of my legs for precaution and petted his wet body. He'd obviously been swimming. His tail slapped my legs and did the knocking for me as it hit the siding next to the door. I returned to my car having received no answer. I was having fun and my head felt better. But what about the books, God? Don't you want those out? I feel like this is a waste of time. No ones home. ... Oh, you've changed my attitude. It's ok to just have a good relaxing time? I guess that's what I'd wanted. Hey thanks! You pretty nice. (That's an under statement!)
Another house. Another happy dog. But no one home. On it went. At one house two dogs met me. One was Shep's cousin. He ran a go his ball, bouncing at my feet until I threw the slimy thing for him. He was back in a flash. So we played fetch for 90 seconds. By the way no one home, although doggy two tried to open the door for me.
There is a pig farm on Spur 66. The sign at the top of the drive way instructed me to STOP, park there, and dawn boot covers and proceed straight to the house. Another friendly dog came out to greet me as I looked in the wooden box on the fence for the shoe covers. But they were a huge thick plastic boot bag. I asked Spot to bark or something! "Tell them I'm here buddy!" But he saw no need to alert the farm to my presence. I didn't look threatening to him. So I honked my horn. But no human appeared.
Across the street I finally met someone. An elderly couple answered and bought my one remaining cookbook. It's nice working out here among the farmers. They all know each other so everyone knows what house I live in. Glen and Betty shared a prayer request for their 15 year old granddaughter who has just been diagnosed with juvenile diabetes.
Brian took a while to answer the door. I knocked three times and started looking around for another door close to where I could hear excited voices inside. I returned to the front door and knocked louder. Brian finally answered. He asked who the books were from and I tried to show him the pictures of the kids books in the back of the God's Answers. Since I didn't have my cookbook anymore I didn't have a picture of the "blue books". Brian said he wasn't familiar with the Bible Story Company, but he had heard of Adventists. A friend of his had gone to Union College. He apologetically handed the the books back and said they'd pass. But he did give me $5 and I gave him the Happy D. I offered to pray and asked if he had any prayer requests. He paused and looked uncomfortable as he stared off and thought. "That we would know God's peace. And that we would understand the greatness of His love. We can't comprehend it, you know?" So we prayed.
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| (a sheep in the lower left corner. sorry for the quality.) |
Then next house had a beautiful Golden Retriever. He reminded me so much of our dog, Cooper! Cooper is a mutt. But they said he had Retriever in him. Well this pooch acted just like Cooper. He did the same head toss to flip my hand from my side to up on top of his crown and nuzzled into me. Along with the dogs there were several kittens and cats at teach house, a given at country farm houses. But these were less personal and I'm not much of a cat person anyway. Goldie and I stood at the door together waiting for an answer, but to no avail. But that was alright we had fun together. I waved goodbye and told him to tell them I came.
Next was the big house on the hill. The driveway continues straight right where the road curves. But I saw that there was another driveway right next to it that wove back into the trees. I guess there's more houses back here than I thought. I pulled up to the big house and noted the pet door on the garage. I had to walk half way down the wrap-around porch to get to the front door. I could see the TV and lights on, but all my knocking received silence. So I got back in my car. Just as I headed down the driveway though three dogs came running. I looked back and saw someone had just let them out. As I turned around into the next driveway I could see the person in the doorway. I put a GLOW tract in the door at the houses where no one answers. I appeared the person might have found it when they opened the door and was looking at it. I prayed they would accept its message.
As I wove my way back into the trees I wondered what I would find. I popped out into a clearing with a large shed and a house. As I got out of the car the front door opened and the man of the house greeted me. "Hi, my name is Jenae, and I'm working on a special scholarship program for college." "Oh well come inside." I hesitated for a second till he added, "And you can meet my wife." That put me at ease. :) I wasn't going to turn down talking in Air Conditioning! I could tell they were working on the house by the bare floors and unpainted drywall. "Did you just build this?" "No, we're just remodeling." They just moved there from Lincoln 7 weeks ago. They have two children, a boy and a girl. They made me feel very relaxed and welcome as I told them of the books. They took them in turn and looked through them as I talked. I shared very openly about each book and what they meant to me. We talked for quite a while about everything from end times, God's hand in history, the hope we have as Christians to how I'd been reluctant to go out and work that night, school, their children, GYC, Bible school, and study groups. "Well honey, what do you think?" the wife asked. "Well I know we're tight on finances ourselves, but we can probably do something." "Which one should we get?" she asked. "I don't know, you've looked them more thoroughly than me. But I think this one looks interesting," he said pointing to the GC, "Nick would probably like it." "Yeah, I bet he would," she agreed with a smile at me. "He's talked about wanting to become a pastor possibly," she explained. Slipping the Peace half way out from the bottom of the pile she continued, "But I was kind of liking this one too." Conversation continued for a little while and then the husband went into the kitchen to get the money. He gave me $20, but she only kept the GC. So I said, "Now this will cover two books. You said you were interested in the Peace." "Well but we want to help you out. You can sell that book to someone else and get more money." "Oh but I have plenty of books to sell." I'd already told them about my goal and the pledges. "I can actually make you a deal. This little book (the Happy D) is the same chapters as the Peace minus the stories and promise pages. So you could get the GC and GA and this little one and have all three books." The wife said, "What ever helps you the most." She held out her hand and I placed the GA and Happy D on top of the GC she held. We prayed together before I left. When I finished the wife gave me a long hug. It felt good. "Thank you so much for coming all the way back here. I'm so glad you found us! Please come back again!" I will!
As I drove out of their driveway I shouted for joy literally. God had proven Himself again. By now it was 9pm. My mind turned to my friends in CA preaching for YFJ. They were about to get up and speak about the Sabbath to their sites. We're all over. The work id going on all over the globe...and I have the privilege of being a part of it. I'm not alone.
When I arrived home I couldn't hid the smile. I'd left with a pretty sour face. My parents were glad to see it had changed. My mother asked, "Did you sell a GC?" "Yes," I said puzzled, "Why?" "I prayed you would. I prayed you would have a special appointment, do country roads, sell a GC and that God would encourage your spirit."
Every single one of those prayers were answered very specifically. I had no idea she'd prayed I would do country roads. There was no doubt God was impressing and guiding.
"Oh, ye of little faith. Why do you doubt?" These words spoken to a sinking fisherman and a fainthearted canvasser. We walked on water...for a while at least. But what was possible if we'd not taken our eyes from Him?
If God can do this when I'm this doubting and untrusting, what is possible if I will take Him at His word and not worry and fret? Just think....
Totals: 3 books, 3 Happy D
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